Stop Saying Yes to Stuff You Hate (Seriously)
Written by Monique Jordan-Cave
Your Career Bestie
Why Saying No Feels So Damn Scary (But Isn’t)
Hello, fellow Soul Leader,
The “Nice Person” Trap (Yeah, It’s a Thing).
Ever feel like your calendar’s possessed?
Like you said yes to one meeting, and now suddenly you're the unofficial therapist, assistant, and coffee runner for everyone in your orbit?
Welcome to The Fear of Setting Boundaries—population: way too many of us.
Especially in the entertainment world, where you’re expected to be "on" 24/7, smile through chaos, and somehow still answer emails faster than Beyoncé drops a surprise album.
You want to speak up, but there's this tiny gremlin voice whispering, “They’ll think you’re selfish. Or worse... difficult.”
But here's the truth bomb: People-pleasing is not a personality trait. It's a stress response. And it’s costing you time, energy, and the creative juice you actually got hired for.
Let’s talk about kicking fear to the curb and setting soul-honouring, career-saving boundaries like the fellow soul leader you are.
1. What Are You Really Afraid Of?
Let’s get honest for a sec. You're not scared of setting boundaries—you’re scared of what people will think after you do.
You're scared they’ll say:
• "She’s changed."
• "He’s not a team player."
• "They’re too sensitive."
But here's the kicker: You can’t control other people’s reactions. You CAN control how much of yourself you sacrifice for their comfort.
Setting boundaries doesn’t make you cold. It makes you clear. And clarity? Is hot.
🧠 Pro Tip: Write down the “worst-case scenario” that you’re afraid of.
Nine times out of ten, it’s a dramatic soap opera your brain wrote on zero sleep and too much coffee.
2. Boundaries Aren’t Barriers—They’re Mic Drops
Let’s rebrand “boundaries.” They’re not walls. They’re not passive-aggressive texts.
They’re not scheduling yourself into oblivion so you can “fake rest.”
They’re your energy management system.
When you set a boundary, you’re not saying, “I don’t care.” You’re saying, “I care enough to not burn out.” That’s leadership. That’s self-respect. That’s freedom.
Try this:
• Instead of “I’m sorry, I can’t,” try: “I’m not available for that, but here’s what I can offer.”
• Instead of ghosting because you're overwhelmed, say: “I need more time before I can take this on.”
Boundaries don’t push people away. They teach people how to respect you.
3. The Boundary Hangover Is Real (But Temporary)
You finally said no. You hit send. You closed the laptop. Cue: boundary hangover.
Symptoms include:
• Guilt sweats
• Obsessively re-reading your message
• The urge to apologise for existing
Here’s the deal, soul leader: That discomfort is growth. You’ve spent a lifetime saying yes to everyone but yourself.
Of course, your system’s freaking out.
But growth always feels weird before it feels right. Stick with it.
You’re not doing it wrong. You’re just not numb anymore.
4. Make “No” Your Power Word (And Watch Your Yeses Thrive)
Saying no isn’t rejection. It’s redirection.
It clears space for the things that actually light your brain up and make your career feel like yours again.
When you fear setting boundaries, you end up:
• Overcommitting
• Resenting your team/job/life
• Being too tired to create
When you say no to what drains you, you say yes to:
• Creativity
• Energy
• Actual joy
Say it with me: No is a complete sentence.
And guess what? The world will keep spinning.
5. What Would You Do If You Felt Safe Saying No?
Take a deep breath and imagine this:
• You turn down a project without guilt.
• You take your lunch break without hiding in a supply closet.
• You say, “This isn’t working for me,” and the ceiling doesn’t cave in.
That’s not fantasy. That’s your future—if you start practising now.
🛠 Here’s your baby-step starter pack:
1. Choose one small boundary to set this week.
2. Say it out loud in the mirror first.
3. Deliver it with love, clarity, and zero apologies.
The more you practice, the less scary it gets. Your comfort zone will scream. Let it.
You’re becoming someone who protects their peace, and that’s worth every wobble.
You Are Not Too Much—You’re Just Misunderstood
Here’s the truth, straight-up no chaser: You’re not asking for too much. You’re just finally asking for what you need.
Your voice matters. Your time matters. Your energy is a non-renewable resource, and guess what? It’s not your job to make everyone comfortable at your own expense.
Setting boundaries isn’t selfish. It’s sacred. It’s you choosing to lead with integrity instead of exhaustion.
So, start small. Start now.
And if your voice shakes? Speak anyway.
💡 What would shift in your career and life if you stopped being afraid to set boundaries?
Let me know in the comments below.
Over to you!
MJx
Please feel free to share this article with a loved one, friend or colleague.
🔥 Ready to start showing up fully and unapologetically at work and in life?
Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for more real-talk tips, soulful pep talks, and bite-sized trainings to help you own your voice, set boundaries, and live like the soul leader you were born to be.
Let’s set boundaries that feel like liberation, not lockdown. 🎤✨
How To Set Boundaries Without Guilt In The Workplace
Why Creatives Struggle With Boundaries
Setting Professional Boundaries In Marketing
Overcoming People-Pleasing In The Music Industry
How To Stop Saying Yes When You Want To Say No
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